Mafia Gazette Past Issue 131
The Mafia Gazette Issue 131 For All The News That Is News (E&OE) Monday 19th February 'PEACE: THE COMMUNITY HAVE THEIR SAY ' With all the talk of peace that has been going on recently, we at the Gazette spoke to a few people about their perceptions of the peace and how they thought it would affect the community. Many people had opinions on it, although only a few wished to have their opinions shared in the newspaper. Mr Tarby, Boss of the Delinquents in Atlanta had this to say: “I’d be interested to see exactly how the whole thing came about, I read Mr Bathtub’s speech that the war was simply to go after Albert Neri and no one else and I can understand Jack Carter’s desire for peace after his family suffering such heavy casualties of late but surely there must still be a strong feeling in the family about unfinished business and all.” He continued “Either way I fear Mr Carter is in for a rough ride in the coming weeks, derision within the family over matters from whether or not he should be in charge, if they should have agreed peace, if he should have kept the family together following Neri’s death and many other factors could well mean his time as leader will not go smoothly.” When he was asked about the peace, he stated: “I’m sure a more sceptical man than I would see it as nothing more than a regrouping tactic, who knows, maybe on both sides.” He was also asked if he perceived the peace as purely between the Concepts and Angels and whether he thought that it extended further. He stated: “I don’t think there was any other issues regarding war on any other fronts before this either, of course the major families all have their war on muggers and the fly by night businessmen but this was the only real war. I’m not sure if I’ve perhaps missed a comment from Ronin though or maybe he’s just declined to make one on if he accepted Locomoko’s attack on him was purely random and nothing to do with the Conceptualists.” We spoke to Mr Ronin on his views of the peace. He commented: “I believe peace to be of a fickle nature in this world of crime we so immerse ourselves in. When the nature of all that we do is based upon corruption can there ever then be such a thing as peace. Is it not indeed the antithesis of all else we work for.” He went on to add, “My thoughts on peace are that there is no universal ruling on peace. Each and every person who makes a plea for peace is doing so to suit their own agenda. You may call me cynical but I may add that I am certainly not separate from this collective theory of mine…” Finally, he commented “As to the peace between AWDF and the Conceptualist I have but one thing to say: Long may it reign! For should it ever end, rivers of blood will run once more…” Cadience Robson was approached for comment and spoke to our reporter saying, “Some people seem to have reservations about this peace agreement and I can't say they can be blamed. But I think an attempt towards peace is always more productive than war. If this doesn't work out at least it can be said someone tried. I wish the best for both families.” Al Dodds echoed this last sentiment with his comment of “After the unfortunate events this week, I see this as a positive move for our society. Living under the threat of war isn't what any family wants. We want to be able to protect our families and let business prosper. I would like to wish AWDF well under their new leader, Jack Carter.” Mr Powerslide_Jr bumped into one of our reporters in the street who asked for his opinion on the peace. He commented, “War is something no one likes. You see in our business there is no gain from it. No money in it. Rivers of blood have flowed from this fight and at the cost of a lot on both sides. I am glad to see peace once again. How long will it last no one will know. But for now it is good to be able to walk the streets and not hear gunshots ring out all over the city.” Clandestine also commented when asked about the peace. He said: “As I gangster I do got get into the decision making processes with my Boss. However, peace between any two warring factions is always a good think. I am happy that the two families could put their differences aside and see the way for a brighter future.” A lot of positive comments from some of the people we interviewed, however there was a flip side to the coin. Not everyone was happy about the peace deal, and some showed scepticism about the real motives behind it or the ability for it to be sustained. One such comment came from Meridius, who stated, “The peace between the two parties at present is one as fleeting as an ice cube in the desert if you ask me. In these, trigger-happy modern times, it takes no more than a sneeze to start World War 2, and if I am completely frank and honest, I see an even greater problem." He continued, saying, “A peaceful conceptualist is a contradiction in terms. Don’t get me wrong, it is impressive to see what they have achieved, but they did this through the method most natural to them - brute force. I believe to ask them to sit on their hands for any long period of time is asking for trouble.” Some of the people passing comment wished to remain anonymous for fear of reprisals over their honest opinions. One echoed a sentiment touched on briefly earlier with their comment saying, “I'm not entirely sure how much backing the angel gave Neri, but they seem to have just rolled over and given in to peace after he was slain. I’m sure if the concept head went down and the assailants held up their arms and said, ‘Its ok, we only wanted him’ the concepts would tear their balls off.” One woman commented, “I think the peace will last as long as Billy decides that no one has said anything to offend him. But in a few weeks, if that, someone will get bored from New York and decide they don't want peace." Another said, “Peace? What bollocks, there will never be peace.” When she was asked why she thought this was so, she added, “Because everyone is trying to play everyone else. People are trying to use this to the best of their advantage; the concepts see an avenue to legitimise their crews by getting people from other crews to join them. People that join them will think they are onto a good thing and become to be complacent. How can that work? The concepts will have the upper hand while other crews that have rolled over into their hands think they have. It’s a vicious circle. I don’t for one moment like it, but then again it’s not down to me is it?” One person who was distinctly unimpressed with the peace was Jim Garrison, who was a close associate of Mr Neri’s and commented “The peace treaty is a piece of shit, it's a peace treaty offered by the weak, to cover the weak. Anyone accepting a peace treaty offered by the Conceptualists is both weak and a fool. I personally will consider anyone wishing to "deal" in peace with the Conceptualists as corrupted. As far as I am concerned, New York deserves better and my mission is to destroy anyone who thinks otherwise.” He then went on to add, “Anyone dealing with the Conceptualists deserves death. I reserve the right to execute any cooperating leaders without trial. Leaders who accept Conceptualists as a legitimate family are a disgrace to our thing and deserve death. If they wish to complain, they can do so in their last words. I will show no mercy.” Mr Garrison also delivered a note to the Gazette offices, supposedly by mistake, saying that his first target would be Mr Clientele, recently returned to our streets and running his own family out of Chicago as well as continuing to work with the Concepts. We spoke to Mr Clientele about the peace process. He commented, “Peace is necessary in order for the community to progress. I am in full support of it continuing as we move into a new era in the community.” We asked if he thought the peace would be sustainable, to which he replied “The peace is sustainable so long as each party wants peace to remain. The cracks only start to appear when people decide peace isn't worth having.” When Mr Garrison’s threat was mentioned to him, he stated “Some people will always seek to destroy what could be potentially a beautiful thing. I am sure Jimbert Nerison, or Jim Garrison as he is known now that his alter ego is dead is looking to extract a measure of revenge upon me and my adopted family. Petty grudges will always undermine peace, but there is nothing I can do about the petty malice of a jealous egomaniac.” The Gazette was hoping to have some form of comment from Mr Carter on this issue, however at the time of printing, no comment has been received from him. We hope to be able to bring his side of things to you as soon as we have it. As you can see however, the topic is one that has divided opinions. Some see it as a good thing, others see it as a transient, fleeting ideal. We can only hope that the doubters are proved wrong in the days and weeks ahead and that this fledgling peace process leads to some positive growth and action as it develops. We at the Gazette will bring you updates on the issue as we can get them. 'KIDNAPPER QUESTIONED OVER DEATH ' By: Lucrezia Borgia Saturday Afternoon, Julia Pletta of the Atlanta Delinquents kidnapped and killed hoodlum, Johnny the Nose in Dallas, Texas. When asked for her reasoning behind the kill Ms. Pletta stated, “I kidnapped one person and that was because he mugged a family member. It is sorted with now I have spoken with his future boss and things are sorted, I would rather not go down that road thanks. I like to keep myself to myself.” Johnny’s Father spoke to the Gazette and stated that his father was not a Random mugger, just like his Great, great grandfather, WildHorse was not. He also stated that the moment he showed his face on the streets, Ms. Pletta kidnapped him again and he feared that had he joined the life of crime he too would be sleeping with the fishes. When we asked Tarby about her promotion he stated, “I went to promo her and she'd been promoted, I'd only have made her WG again.” It appears that Ms. Pletta had cleared her rap sheet, and instead of waiting for Tarby’s invite, she had Ronin, the Las Vegas Capo promoted her to Made. Tarby also stated, “She's not in my family anymore either,” when asked why he promptly replied, “Yeah, randoming” When asked about her Randoming Ms. Pletta said to us, ““I killed him when I seen the WS of Johnny mugging Alfie.” And also, “I can handle my promotion, I am not a killer. This has nothing to do with you so please stay out of it.” And also “please do not blame me of killing randomly due to my promotion.” When the Gazette asked Ms. Pletta about being kicked out of the Delinquents, she declined comment. We will keep you updated on the status of this Randoming Madewoman. 'MORE WINNERS AS LOTTERY GAINS PACE ' Three more lucky people have become overnight Millionaires thanks to the Community Lottery netting a cool Five Million Dollars each. The rising popularity of the competition saw the number of entries more than double from Wednesday with more people looking for a chance to win big money all for a dollar stake. More than thirty-five people entered for Saturday’s draw all hoping to be the winner of the big prize. The numbers drawn in Saturday’s lottery were: 06, 18, 32, 40, 43, 47 and 49. For your chance to win millions, mail your lines of six numbers from between 01 to 49 to CarmelaDeAngelis along with a dollar fee for each line. Maximum lines allowed are five in total and entries should reach Ms DeAngelis before 1:30PM on the day of the draw. The next draw is scheduled for Wednesday 21st February. 'WEDDINGS, THE NEWEST TREND? ' For the last few months we had not seen a single blushing bride on our streets. And then, with what appeared to be the romantic feelings stirred from Valentines day, we had no less than three people express their desire to marry. Mafia weddings have long been a “Tradition” of sorts on our streets, generally the couple meets in a bar and has a long drawn out relationship/courting session. Eventually the man will pop the question and then the announcement would be made. It would take time to plan the wedding, making sure everything was just right. The last wedding these streets saw done properly was Carmela DeAngelis and Furio Giunta. They were married in a simple, yet elegant wedding with all of their closest friends. They did it the correct way, instead of this “Hey, I feel like being noticed in the streets, lets get married!” So with the wedding trend on what appears to be the up and up, is this the beginning of the end for our sanity? This reporter, who happens to hate weddings, will keep you updated. 'CRIME RATE SOARS AS PROHIBITION TAKES HOLD ' Since the announcement of Prohibition, the office of national statistics have reported a marked increase in all major crimes on a country-wide scale. Robberies are up by 27%, murders by 33%, and such crimes as arson, criminal damage, assault, and intimidation have soared by as much as 50% each. This is blamed solely on prohibition by many anti-prohibition lobbyists. They claim the removal of legal alcohol trade coupled with the apparent depression our country is seeing has turned many law-abiding citizens to crime as a way of supporting their families. With unemployment at an all-time high, so called “mafia” organised crime syndicates are bursting at the seams with new recruits to their ranks. In some cities, known mobsters alone outnumber the Police by 3 to 1, this is not even taking into account the thousands more who live below the radar. As the law enforcement agencies reach crisis point, many local politicians are relishing the opportunity to push forward promises and changes for their impending election campaigns. Although there has been no official comment on this massive burst of criminal activity, it is thought that Police chiefs from across the nation will convene soon to discuss the rise in crime, before it gets too much to handle. More on this story as it happens. 'THE POWDER ROOM ' Welcome to the third instalment of The Powder Room, a place where the female mysteries are explained for all the men out there who can’t quite grasp the way things work. Here we aim to educate, to elaborate on a few details and teach you a few simple rules on how to act and behave when it comes to the fairer sex. Today we are going to be taking a look at a very important aspect of dealing with women and how to avoid the common pitfalls that could leave you with egg on your face, or worse, a stony silence and “The Look”, a subject that we will go into more detail about in a later section. Today however, we turn to a very important subject when it comes to communication: Talking to a Woman. We have already covered where you should not be looking when listening, and the same is true of when you are talking. Her ears are on either side of her head, not down the front of her dress and she will not appreciate you talking to her cleavage. When you are talking about something, it is best to be watching her face to find out whether you are boring her, making her happy or just being irritating. All of these things can be seen in either her eyes or her facial expressions, so pay attention. Don’t stare though, because that will make you look like a psychotic or stalker, neither of which will endear her to you. When you are speaking, remember a few simple rules, and you can’t go far wrong. Treat her as an equal, not an inferior. Women dislike being talked down to, or talked to like a two-year old. Telling her not to worry her pretty little head over things is liable to see you sat on your own. Women these days are far more educated, and some are educated to a higher standard than a lot of men. If you have yet to learn about your companion’s education, it is wise not to treat her like an empty-headed bimbo whose only thoughts are marriage, home making and babies. Subjects that should not be discussed under any circumstance until you know a woman a whole lot better are politics, religion or sex. Sport should also be avoided unless she indicates that she is a fan of a certain sport or team. Your work is a good topic, but do not over-inflate your position or bore her with the minutiae of your daily grind at the office or workplace. Discussion about education is also good and will allow you to gauge what level your conversation should be at. Hobbies and interests will involve lively discussion, particularly if you find you have several shared interests. Do not become too over-involved in your subject matter, as it should be a conversation rather than a monologue. Do not engage in one-upmanship either, as this is not treating her as an equal. Be prepared to show weaknesses, such as not being as good at a certain sport or hobby as you would like, but do it humorously. Be prepared to share stories of your exploits that have gone wrong in an amusing way. Another good thing to remember is not to ask “closed” questions. There are questions that would only require a one-word answer, like yes or no. For instance, instead of asking “Do you like Italian food?” which would require only a yes or no, you can change it to something more open, such as “What do you think of Italian food?” This requires more of a response, as it is asking for an opinion. From that you can then go onto discussing favourite dishes, whether she has any favourite restaurants, if she has any particular tastes in wine and so on. All these answers should be noted for future use, because it would not be sensible to invite her for dinner and take her to a Chinese restaurant if she has said she doesn’t like the food. If she brings up any of the “banned” topics, be prepared to be non-committal in the first instance. Don’t go off on a diatribe of what you think is wrong with politics and politicians or your beliefs in God and religion. Let her share her views with you if she wants, but do not get into an argument over it. If you have completely opposing views, agree to disagree and leave the subject. All of this advice should get you through the major pitfalls of talking to a Woman. In our next instalment we will be going on to the basics of What Not To Wear. 'THE OLD MAN SAYS… ' Article Five: Gunplay Well, guns are just a way of life in this thing of ours, but I guess a lot of people don’t get a chance to gain much positive experience in this area without going out and popping off a few rounds. I’d like to impart a few words of wisdom, so that hopefully you won’t have to go out and get in a fight on purpose, just for the hell of it. First off, don’t just go using your gun because you can. There’s something you should be aware of, with illegal guns and ammo, there are side-effects. Sometimes they aren’t the most reliable. Look at poor Albert-Neri, he found out the hard way. They have a tendency to explode sometimes, so I guess the more you use them, the more chance you’ve got of your gun blowing up in your face. That’s why it’s important to assess a situation before pulling the trigger, I mean, some low-life mugger just took a few hundred bucks, is it worth your life to shoot him in the face? Also, think of the cops, murder ain’t no light thing, they take it kinda seriously… Now, if you do end up in a gunfight, for some reason it’s thought of as cowardly to jump on a train and hop cities. This thought is brought to you by the same guys that like to wrestle bears, or throw stones at beehives. They’re idiots. If someone is shooting at you, and you don’t think you’ll win the fight, there’s no shame in cruising to a different city til the heat turns down a bit. Where is your honour when you’re lying on a mortuary slab? What good has pride done you then, eh? Also, if you’re gonna run into a gunfight, both barrels blazing, remember you need ammo. No good only bringing a handful of bullets, cos if you run out, you’re a sitting duck. What’re you gonna do, point your gun at them and shout “Bang!”… In conclusion, use your gun only when you need to, and when you think you’ll win the fight. Otherwise, just walk away. The less you play with guns, the far longer your life expectancy will be. 'CLASSIFIEDS ' If you wish to advertise in this space, please mail your classified ad to CarmelaDeAngelis at the Gazette offices in Chicago. All ads are free. 19:26, February 17, 2013 (UTC)19:26, February 17, 2013 (UTC)19:26, February 17, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 19:26, February 17, 2013 (UTC) GAZETTE RECRUITING The Mafia Gazette is on the hunt for freelance journalists to join the team. Any who wish to write for the community’s newspaper will be welcomed. The job entails writing articles for the Gazette to be published in the next available issue. Writers should be prepared to submit at least one article every week conforming to the usual layout of the Gazette. The editor in chief reserves the right to alter/amend any articles for content/length and all stories/columns/letters should be submitted to the Editor the day before the day of publishing to ensure proper editing is allowed. Any submissions used will be paid for. Please mail the Editor for more information. All enquiries should be addressed to CarmelaDeAngelis at the Gazette Offices in Chicago. Permanent Positions Available: Current Affairs Writer: Writing the news as it happens on our streets, interviewing relevant paries and so on. Features Writer: Interviews with Bosses or pieces on particular establishments would come under the heading of Features. If you would like more information on any of these posts, or wish to apply for any, please send your applications to CarmelaDeAngelis at the Gazette offices. All positions carry an attractive salary and bonus scheme. Please note: All writers may use pen names if they choose to keep their identities secret when writing, as some controversial pieces may attract unwanted attention. No real identities will be issued by this office at any time should any wish to use pen names.